


Christmas Eve: A Very Rhinky Holiday Tale

by missingparentheses



Category: Rhett & Link
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-23
Updated: 2017-12-23
Packaged: 2019-02-05 08:48:49
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,587
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12791001
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/missingparentheses/pseuds/missingparentheses
Summary: Before Santa can leave on his big night around the world, he spends some quality time with his favorite elf.





	Christmas Eve: A Very Rhinky Holiday Tale

**Author's Note:**

  * For [TheMouthKing](https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheMouthKing/gifts).



Link cleared his throat and adjusted the dark green fabric around his waist as he looked down the staircase. The house was dimly lit, the smells of dinner still hanging in the air and mingling with the scent of woodsmoke just beginning to permeate the space. He could hear the fire crackling at an even level with the crooning sound of Dean Martin’s illustrious voice, the two sounds weaving in and around each other.

“I’ve got a full night ahead of me, Jingles,” Rhett’s voice snaked up the stairs from the living room just out of view. “Those toys aren’t gonna deliver themselves!”

“I feel like an idiot.”

“Now, is that any way to talk? I picked those uniforms myself centuries ago. No elves have ever complained before.”

Link rolled his eyes and adjusted the fabric again. This costume was clearly meant for the curves usually found on a woman’s body. The neckline was cut low, but instead of cleavage, he boasted a broad expanse of coarse black hair. Beneath the short, green skirt, his legs stretched long and lean, clad in black fishnets and finished off with matching dark green high-heeled shoes accented with puffs of tinsel and tiny bells. He straightened the pointed hat over his hair and began his careful descent, the tinkling sound announcing his approach.

Rhett didn’t have to even try to stay in character when Link rounded the corner. He took in the sight of his partner and threw his head back in a _ “Ho, ho, ho!”  _ so jolly that Santa himself would have been put to shame. Link felt a blush creep from his exposed chest and up his neck, but when he took a moment to appreciate the other man’s costume, he couldn’t help but grin back.

“You gotta be roasting in that getup, brother,” he chuckled. Rhett was indeed dressed for a long Christmas Eve night spent in a flying, open sleigh—clearly Santa’s costume was as practical as it was iconic.

“Yeah, I’m sweating like a pig,” Rhett laughed. “You gonna make me sit in it all night?”

Link felt a grin creep over his face, and almost without thought, his hip jutted out to the side, and one finger raised to lightly touch his bottom lip. “I thought you wanted to hear my Christmas list, Santa,” he said with a slight pout. Rhett’s eyes sparkled, his discomfort forgotten.

“Well, don’t keep Santa waiting. Even the help gets a turn on ol’ St. Nick’s lap.”

Link’s grin widened further, and he sauntered across the few feet left between them. He climbed up onto the couch and made as if he were going to straddle Rhett’s legs, but at the last moment he swung both legs to the front and sat facing away from Rhett, as innocent a pose as a child.

“I could use a new laptop,” he began, all playfulness gone from his tone. “Also one of those new iPhones. Have I been good enough for that?”

Rhett grunted at the man’s weight and shifted beneath him. “Nope.”

Link shrugged. “The blender is leaking a bit at the bottom, so maybe a new one of those. And gift cards. I mean, who doesn’t like gift cards?”

Rhett pinched him in the side, and Link squealed and twisted away. Then Rhett sobered. “Turn around, Jingles.”

“But I’m not done with my Christmas list!”

“Do you want me to throw you out on your ass on Christmas Eve? I told you, I’ve got a long night ahead of me; I don’t have much time. Turn around.”

Link wiped the smile from his face and slowly rotated. Swinging his leg carefully past Rhett’s head, he positioned himself in the pose he had teased initially, straddling Rhett’s lap and facing him straight-on.

“Yes, Santa?”

“Listen, Jingles. You know why I hired you.”

“Because I’m the best toy maker you’ve ever seen?”

“Not even close.”

“Because I came highly recommended by a previous employer?”

“What previous employer? You’ve worked here since you finished Elf School.”

“Because I’m pretty?”

Rhett pointed at him. “Yes. That, exactly.” He reached both hands down then, and began to run them slowly up the folded, fishnet-clad legs on either side of his thighs. “No other elf ever looked so good in this uniform either. Did I ever tell you that?”

Link shook his head. He leaned in closer, laying one palm on Rhett’s red fur coat and allowing the other to stroke his beard.. “I’m sorry I’m not much good at making toys for good little girls and boys,” he whispered. “I guess I’m kind of a misfit.”

“We’ve already got Hermie doing dentistry, so I hope you aren’t about to tell me that’s your life’s calling.”

Link shook his head again. “I’ve got a different skill set that I think you’ll enjoy even more than clean teeth.” He dove in and sunk those teeth into the muscle at the side of Rhett’s neck. “Can I help you out of this coat?” he murmured against the flushed skin.

“I told you,” Rhett gasped, his voice thin and strained, “I’ve got so much to do tonight, Jingles. The reindeer are waiting outside already.”

Link sat up straight and slipped his hands inside of Rhett’s coat, pressing it back until it was sliding off his shoulders, leaving his torso wrapped in only a white undershirt. “Santa needs a gift too, though. I can give you the boost you need to get you through the night. Please, Santa. Let me help you.” 

Rhett’s hips were beginning to rock helplessly beneath him, and Link grinned as he reached down between his own thighs and inside of Rhett’s fuzzy red pants. Rhett whimpered when Link’s hand wrapped around his erection and drew it out, leaving it to stand proudly against the red backdrop of the pants still pulled up to its base. Link kept his palm wrapped around the warm flesh and began to stroke languidly.

“Can I finish telling you my Christmas list?” Link whispered in his ear.

Rhett nodded. His mouth hung open as he watched Link work him over, his breath coming fast and heavy.

“I wanna make you whine,” he whispered again, punctuating his statement with a wet tongue raked up the side of Rhett’s face. The sound of Rhett’s obedient whine immediately followed, and Link chuckled. He lifted his hand from Rhett’s cock and brought it to his mouth where he lathed an excessively wet lick across it, and Rhett whined again at the sight. Link’s hand returned to its place, slicking him up.

“I wanna make you beg.”

Rhett’s head dropped back against the couch. “Oh god,” he whimpered.

“What was that, Santa?”

“Please…”

_ “That’s  _ right,” Link murmured with a grin. “You wanna know what else?”

Rhett groaned and nodded. His left hand gripped Link’s bicep while his right splayed across the expanse of his chest above the plunging neckline of the dress. “Tell me.”

When Link let go of the member in his palm, Rhett responded with a helpless whimper of disappointment, but his eyes followed the motion of Link’s hands as he reached down beneath his own rear and pressed up on his knees to hover above Rhett’s lap.

“I wanna make you gasp,” Link said. Then with both hands he gripped the sheer stockings stretched across his own backside and pulled, tearing it wide. Rhett’s answering gasp made Link grin, and he wasted no time in offering his next request.

“I wanna make you curse.”

_ “Ohhh, fuuuuck,” _ Rhett groaned as Link sank down onto his cock, slow and controlled. “Jesus, how are you so wet?”

Link chuckled as he took up his rhythm, hands planted on Rhett’s shoulders for stability. “You doubted I would come down here ready for you? Santa, I live to serve.”

Rhett’s hands gripped Link’s waist as he rolled his hips up to meet Link’s slowly increasing rhythm. Their conversation quieted for the moment as they lost themselves in sensation, the heat of each other’s bodies, the smoke and the music and the pleasure curling from their centers and out through fingers and toes. Rhett sat up straighter and wrapped his arms around Link’s thin frame. He held him close and breathed him in, their mouths exploring each other’s necks and faces as their gasps and groans raised in pitch and intensity. Finally Rhett broke through the wordless haze.

“I’ll give you anything you want, baby. Name it.”

Link groaned and threw his head back as he ground down harder. “I wanna make you come!”

Rhett tried to respond, but all Link heard was the strangled cry that forced its way out as he climaxed, his hips bucking so hard into Link that he pushed him, too, over the edge. They clung to each other as they rode the high. As they returned to themselves, Rhett pressed his lips to Link’s throat, the skin warm and salty with sweat.

“Don’t tell the others,” he murmured, “but you’re my favorite elf.”

“Does this mean you’ll stay here with me tonight? Just this once?”

“And disappoint millions of people all over the world?”

Link raised his hips with an obscene groan as Rhett’s cock slipped out of him, and Rhett’s eyes fluttered shut with a gasp. He swung Link down onto the couch and climbed over him, a twinkle in his eyes. His cheeks were rosy, and his beard tickled Link’s chin when he dove down to capture his mouth in a long, slow kiss.

“Alright, Jingles. Just this once.”


End file.
